‘Gen F’ - friendships across generations

Recently, I came across a new concept called ‘Generation Fluid’. Since intergenerational friendships have been on my mind, and in my life, before this discovery, I started looking around for other evidence of this new portrayal of generational interactions.

In my search, I found an article by Priya Ramani, a Bengaluru, India-based journalist. Ms. Ramani’s take on the concept was uplifting, channeling how I am interacting with generations surrounding me, and inspired me to contemplate these connections between older and younger people, not just as personal friends, but as professionals colleagues as well.

Ms. Ramani’s example centered on Rebecca and Keeley, two female characters in the Apple+ TV series Ted Lasso, as an intriguing anomaly in an otherwise age-segregated world. Rebecca is the owner of a British football team and Keeley starts out as the team’s publicist. Both are cast much to expectations; Rebecca being the steady director of finances and operations, and Keely the adaptable media-savvy, younger colleague. As the series develops, they form a supportive friendship that reaches beyond the care for a coworker and into personal areas of closeness.

Alex Levy, main anchor, and Cybil Reynolds, board chair, of the fictional network UBA in the Apple+ tv series The Morning Show, is another example where women of different generations are finding common ground. With their combined experience, they deliver what colleagues surrounding them cannot – an uncanny sensitivity when realizing that someone is going to screw you over, including professionally. This is something that Rebecca, Keely and these two women know all too well.

So how do we view people of different ages being friends and work colleagues, and treasuring those relationships? Are they more common than we realize? Are we ready to openly acknowledge these relationships, or do we keep them hidden for reason of being embarrassed or other potentially cringey moments?

Approaching the upper echelons of middle age, I have experienced displays of youthful disdain and rolling-of-the eyes when I am assumed to not get the drift. For me, these encounters have also required me to expend a dollop of energy to see another’s perspective, such as a young person’s innocence and naiveite.

Taking a non-scientific survey of my social surroundings, there are examples of people who find commonality in interacting despite age differences, experiences and viewpoint, and for many varied reasons, form friendships across generations.

I find myself to be such a person.

Looking back, I developed my first generation fluid friendship with my classical studies teacher, who taught Ancient Greek and Latin at my high school, and at the university in the city I grew up. After graduating from HS, we kept in touch, sharing our love for the Antiquities, but also finding a common language for women in academia and just …. a wonderful friendship.

My father was an inspiration for generational blindness. He mentored and trained young people in his profession as a dental technician, and until the very end of his life, kept friendships with the students and employees that he had encountered many decades earlier. Same with his hunting activities, where he also taught wildlife and nature conservancy, motivating younger participants throughout the years.

Now, what does all this have to do with Emotional Industry, you may think, the go-to blog on all things philanthropic?

As I became a director and manager of staff of a foundation, I found myself leading and engaging with younger people on a daily basis. The revolving door of interns was a huge source of new input from areas that I only could glimpse at. Some of them being decades younger than I, we congealed as the internet developed, creating and designing platforms for social media accounts together, and enjoying what we could teach each other.

One of the interns moved on to start her own business, and she told me that my leadership style inspired her in such a way that when she was asked to hold seminars or talks, she used me as an example on how to manage staff and teams. It makes me proud to have that as a legacy, and also that my theme in this blog is expressed in so many ways.

Recently I have been substituting in a school district not far from where I live. Although it is a full assignment of K-12, I find myself gravitating towards the middle and high school students. Learning from them, seeing and listening to them is motivating and invigorating. And most of all, I try to meet them where they are; as they have so much to teach me.

Over the years, both in the nonprofit and for-profit sectors, I have found myself engaging with younger staff, working alongside, contributing to the sum of the whole to move forward. Currently, I am working with two nonprofits, one where the principals are in their late 20s, and the other where my closest partner is 26, what we call Gen Zs. I am also working with web designers in the same age bracket, who help me expand on my social media savvy. We are all focused on the results, the tasks at hand, and are respectful and inclusive in how we conduct our business. As a side, the work assignments with these young individuals have developed into, and also sprung from, friendships, and are some of my most valuable and cherished relationships.

More than that, I have been fortunate to work in professional capacities with my very talented niece, a Millennial, in both nonprofit and for-profit settings. A whiz with everything concerning the internet, AI and tech, we have found a beautiful dimension of friendship and mutual admiration above and beyond our close family connection. 

Friendships across generations also facilities institutional knowledge, an undervalued feature in the sector of transferring expertise to new employees, volunteers and other affiliated with the entity. Instead of inventing the wheel every time someone is leaving or let go (not seldom due to lack of funding), this transfer is of vital importance for both the success and continuity of nonprofits. Mentoring can never be undervalued and when conducted in a respectful and inquisitive manner, brings so much to all involved.

Another non-scientific observation is that the relative insecurity of employment that exist with Millennials, Gen X and Boomers doesn’t seem to affect Gen Z in the same way; they are more likely to quit a job and move on than previous generations. (I am supposedly a boomer but relate more to Gen X, and my experiences online tells me that this is likely the case.)

I have found that Gen Z exemplifies the integrity that I wish I had had in my earlier years. Gen Z  exhibits more tolerance for new things and being unfazed by others knowing more than they do. Of course, this is not true across the board, and requires more in-depth analysis. But from what I’ve seen, Gen Zs are open, don’t take any s***, and ready to be true to themselves. What’s not to like about that in a coworker, or a friend? And at this age in my life, I kind of feel the same.

The ageism that is present in so many parts of society is inhibiting efforts to explore intergenerational connections full on. Either limited by proximity, psychology, or other deterrents, I find that interacting with younger people is seamless is liberating, simple and rewarding. The fluidity in these friendships is a constant source of inspiration and encouragement of how abilities are transcendental.

When I sold my house a few years ago and set out on a new path, really without any destination, nor a base, I came up with the term “perennial”, as in popping up every year, without missing a beat. Mostly, it was a way for me to explain a more open-ended existence.

Now, as I am inserting the concept perennial in my bio on social platforms, defying ageism has grown to become a signature of my life. Although I am not insulted from ageism, far from it, especially being an ‘older’ white woman, but the young connections I have formed puts me at level with anybody – and enjoying every minute of it.

Doing my research, I also discovered that the concept of Gen F is used as a short for the cohort collectively known as first-generation students from low-income families and disadvantaged communities in the U.S. and abroad. In a way, with both my parents only finishing seven years of schooling – they had to start help supporting their families – I might identify with Gen F in this way, as well. 

My version of Gen F encapsulates how we can be inclusive towards each other, regardless of age. And, since anybody who is alive, at any age, contribute to the greater good, educational value or not, this category could also describe what ageism is  - a positive enhancement on a journey without end.

I might just add ‘Gen F’ to my bio.

Photo: Juno Temple, as Keeley Jones, and Hannah Waddingham as Rebecca Welton in Ted Lasso; via Priya Ramani